It's now entering the final two weeks of the semester. Next Wednesday is the end of one of my classes, the other three end the following week.
Projects and papers, abound.
So much to do in so little time to secure those straight A's. Maybe three A's and a B. But with any luck... straight A's for the first time in my life. It's weird not being lazy anymore.
But dammit Jim, I'm a student, not a scientist.
Buckle down everybody... it's mission time.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
180's
Just wanted to pop and and post, so that later I can look at it and know it was true. Even if it goes away tomorrow, I saw the 180's today!
187, to be precise.
That's 19 pounds lost.
Like I said, even if tomorrow I'm not in the 180's, for whatever reason (like that special time of month where water retention is unavoidable...), I can look back here and know that the 180's are not a pipe dream for me.
:)
187, to be precise.
That's 19 pounds lost.
Like I said, even if tomorrow I'm not in the 180's, for whatever reason (like that special time of month where water retention is unavoidable...), I can look back here and know that the 180's are not a pipe dream for me.
:)
Monday, November 26, 2012
It's not that hard
I had an interesting class today.
It's been a long time since I've had an English teacher who didn't wet his pants just because I know how to put a sentence together. My current professor (ENG 102 - Composition) is very challenging, to me. He's one of the few instructors I've had who held me to my own level of excellence, not the level of the class as a whole. He won't grade me well just because many of my peers lack the skills necessary, or are just apathetic as a whole. So I've had a difficult time with my papers for his class, stressing over every little detail in the hopes of achieving A's. So far, I've suceeded. Today was interesting, for another reason.
Today he spent a good 30 minutes lecturing the class on the quality of our papers. Never, he rants, has he had a section do so poorly on the assignment. He cancelled three classes, offered hours of office time and in class time to assist and answer questions. No other assignments were given, to allow the students to do well on the assignment. Yet, he complained, the biggest issues were all issues that he has addressed with each student before. In short, almost everyone was plagiarizing and making the same mistakes repeatedly on every assignment they hand in.
I've seen this frustration before, but never to such a degree. It's a little sad and disheartening to see this man, who devoted his life and career to the study of language, and to teach others how to wield it effectively, and appropriately, be so... let down, I guess is the phrase.
After he gave his lecture/rant, we received our papers. I was thoroughly expecting a punch in the mouth over what I considered to be a poor paper indeed, and instead got full marks.
But I wonder, why don't people care about language anymore?
Politics and major decisions will not be decided by those who cannot effectively communicate their thoughts. Revolutions will not be waged by those who cannot express their ideas, no matter how good they are. Raises will not be won by those who can't capably manage an argument or debate. Relationships will be difficult to manage for those who can't understand that LOL is an acronym, not a sentiment.
Where does the apathy begin? Who is to blame for the failings? I went through the same underfunded, overpopulated, public school system that most people have. I'm only 25, I'm not that removed from the 18 and 19 year-olds who are freshman nowadays. Yet for some reason, I give a shit. And they don't.... or worse, can't.
I do admit to an advantage, having two parents who were both in journalism fields. The stress on reading and writing was always present, and I was held to a higher standard by parents who know the difference between good writing, and poor writing. I learned to express myself through words, and I had the desire inside of me, as they do, to wear my heart on my notepad. But a student doesn't have to have a passion for words to write well, you only have to know the rules. Writing is a basic form of human communication. Automatic text puts grammar in your words automatically, is it too hard to pay attention to where those apostrophes go?
I don't feel special, and I don't understand why the apathy is so rampant, but it makes me worry for the future of humanity, and I empathize with those instructors who devoted their lives to a field of knowledge so rarely utilized by that majority of human minds, especially, when everyone can only benefit.
It's been a long time since I've had an English teacher who didn't wet his pants just because I know how to put a sentence together. My current professor (ENG 102 - Composition) is very challenging, to me. He's one of the few instructors I've had who held me to my own level of excellence, not the level of the class as a whole. He won't grade me well just because many of my peers lack the skills necessary, or are just apathetic as a whole. So I've had a difficult time with my papers for his class, stressing over every little detail in the hopes of achieving A's. So far, I've suceeded. Today was interesting, for another reason.
Today he spent a good 30 minutes lecturing the class on the quality of our papers. Never, he rants, has he had a section do so poorly on the assignment. He cancelled three classes, offered hours of office time and in class time to assist and answer questions. No other assignments were given, to allow the students to do well on the assignment. Yet, he complained, the biggest issues were all issues that he has addressed with each student before. In short, almost everyone was plagiarizing and making the same mistakes repeatedly on every assignment they hand in.
I've seen this frustration before, but never to such a degree. It's a little sad and disheartening to see this man, who devoted his life and career to the study of language, and to teach others how to wield it effectively, and appropriately, be so... let down, I guess is the phrase.
After he gave his lecture/rant, we received our papers. I was thoroughly expecting a punch in the mouth over what I considered to be a poor paper indeed, and instead got full marks.
But I wonder, why don't people care about language anymore?
Politics and major decisions will not be decided by those who cannot effectively communicate their thoughts. Revolutions will not be waged by those who cannot express their ideas, no matter how good they are. Raises will not be won by those who can't capably manage an argument or debate. Relationships will be difficult to manage for those who can't understand that LOL is an acronym, not a sentiment.
Where does the apathy begin? Who is to blame for the failings? I went through the same underfunded, overpopulated, public school system that most people have. I'm only 25, I'm not that removed from the 18 and 19 year-olds who are freshman nowadays. Yet for some reason, I give a shit. And they don't.... or worse, can't.
I do admit to an advantage, having two parents who were both in journalism fields. The stress on reading and writing was always present, and I was held to a higher standard by parents who know the difference between good writing, and poor writing. I learned to express myself through words, and I had the desire inside of me, as they do, to wear my heart on my notepad. But a student doesn't have to have a passion for words to write well, you only have to know the rules. Writing is a basic form of human communication. Automatic text puts grammar in your words automatically, is it too hard to pay attention to where those apostrophes go?
I don't feel special, and I don't understand why the apathy is so rampant, but it makes me worry for the future of humanity, and I empathize with those instructors who devoted their lives to a field of knowledge so rarely utilized by that majority of human minds, especially, when everyone can only benefit.
Post Holiday Musings
Since starting my diet, I knew that my timing would be tricky... holiday season is ultra food oriented and it's difficult to get together with family and friends and feel left out of all the delicious dishes you normally partake in.
For some diets, Weight Watchers, especially, you can eat what you want, as long as you're conscious of portions, etc. WW, however, has never worked for me. I've know those who have had massive success on that plan, and I was happier with my food options while doing WW, but my results were never substantial, dropping tenths of a pound every week.
With Dukan, my options are fairly limited, but with the benefit of a short term commitment. With the True Weight calculation, I have a basic idea of when my restricted options will cease. This is the main reason I'm able to cope with the diet, instead of an open ended date with the idea that "Hey, buddy, you'll get there.... someday!"
That said, I cheated on Thanksgiving. I didn't feel bad about it, either. I took tiny portions, about a spoonful, of the foods I love and craved. I didn't have seconds. I tried to avoid leftovers, but did have a few over the couple days following. But I have to say, it wasn't really worth it. Sure, I got the tastes I've been so programmed to love, but I paid for it.
Today I was finally back to where I was before Thanksgiving, 191.4 lbs. But I've been in so much pain trying to digest all the rich and fatty foods... not really worth it. And I forgot what holidays are really about... family, and those that we love.
I had a fabulous holiday. My family was here, at my house, where the meal was hosted. But the meal is symbolic for the greater message. I am thankful that I got to see so many family members on Thursday. I'm thankful that the timing worked perfectly, and I got to see my boyfriend and his kids and his family, as well, without missing a bit of the night. I'm thankful for his parents being so considerate, and providing extra turkey, since they know my diet is protein based. They've been very positive about school and my diet, and they don't have to, so I am grateful.
I am grateful that my professors didn't assign a massive homework load over the holiday, allowing me to have loads of fun, which is something I rarely do anymore.
For Christmas, I know that the point is people, not food. Spending time with those we care about and remembering why we have them in our lives is so much more important than wondering what food I'll be able to taste for the twenty minutes it takes us all to demolish the hours worth of work cooking it all, heh.
Happy Holidays, everyone. I hope I can keep my perspective through the next couple months! :)
For some diets, Weight Watchers, especially, you can eat what you want, as long as you're conscious of portions, etc. WW, however, has never worked for me. I've know those who have had massive success on that plan, and I was happier with my food options while doing WW, but my results were never substantial, dropping tenths of a pound every week.
With Dukan, my options are fairly limited, but with the benefit of a short term commitment. With the True Weight calculation, I have a basic idea of when my restricted options will cease. This is the main reason I'm able to cope with the diet, instead of an open ended date with the idea that "Hey, buddy, you'll get there.... someday!"
That said, I cheated on Thanksgiving. I didn't feel bad about it, either. I took tiny portions, about a spoonful, of the foods I love and craved. I didn't have seconds. I tried to avoid leftovers, but did have a few over the couple days following. But I have to say, it wasn't really worth it. Sure, I got the tastes I've been so programmed to love, but I paid for it.
Today I was finally back to where I was before Thanksgiving, 191.4 lbs. But I've been in so much pain trying to digest all the rich and fatty foods... not really worth it. And I forgot what holidays are really about... family, and those that we love.
I had a fabulous holiday. My family was here, at my house, where the meal was hosted. But the meal is symbolic for the greater message. I am thankful that I got to see so many family members on Thursday. I'm thankful that the timing worked perfectly, and I got to see my boyfriend and his kids and his family, as well, without missing a bit of the night. I'm thankful for his parents being so considerate, and providing extra turkey, since they know my diet is protein based. They've been very positive about school and my diet, and they don't have to, so I am grateful.
I am grateful that my professors didn't assign a massive homework load over the holiday, allowing me to have loads of fun, which is something I rarely do anymore.
For Christmas, I know that the point is people, not food. Spending time with those we care about and remembering why we have them in our lives is so much more important than wondering what food I'll be able to taste for the twenty minutes it takes us all to demolish the hours worth of work cooking it all, heh.
Happy Holidays, everyone. I hope I can keep my perspective through the next couple months! :)
Sunday, November 18, 2012
A quick thought, to postpone homework
I've had a pretty killer head cold this past week, and I've sort of put my diet on hold until I get better. Those familiar with Dukan know the rules, and I haven't been mowing down carbs or fruit juice or anything of that nature. I have been a lot more lenient though, and I have stopped exercising until I feel up to par.
I was feeling kind of guilty, but on the other hand I know that tending to my health is much more important than tending to my weight.
I was sure I was going to have to start the diet again, back with the attack phase. But when I looked at the scale today, I was down to 193, even. Lowest I've been so far on this diet.
I guess my point is, don't ever give up. You might surprise yourself.
I was feeling kind of guilty, but on the other hand I know that tending to my health is much more important than tending to my weight.
I was sure I was going to have to start the diet again, back with the attack phase. But when I looked at the scale today, I was down to 193, even. Lowest I've been so far on this diet.
I guess my point is, don't ever give up. You might surprise yourself.
Friday, November 16, 2012
Oh god...
I posted some poems I had collected from various points in times in my life. Since I'll be taking an intro to poetry class next semester (super excited about it, though it has nothing to do with my major), I guess it's time to stop being so embarrassed and like... let people see it.
Everything I write embarrasses me. Should I take it as a good sign?
http://septembervalentine.deviantart.com/
For whomever is interested... oiy
Fat nerd, indeed.
Everything I write embarrasses me. Should I take it as a good sign?
http://septembervalentine.deviantart.com/
For whomever is interested... oiy
Fat nerd, indeed.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
I am the turtle... I am the turtle...
I find myself becoming disappointed if I don't see daily results on the scale. I'm often frustrated with myself, and if I'm not consistently dropping (or, worse, if I have a gain) I get so upset that I feel liable to just go eat all the things I should not. I know, however, that it won't make me feel better.
I have found that I used to use food as a primary means of pleasure, and I have a hard time enjoying myself if I deny food. I have been very creative with recipes, and find that I can make many delicious things for myself, in the constrains of the diet. But I miss certain things. I miss brownies, and I miss cheeseburgers, and I really, really miss pizza. I miss being able to go into the kitchen and have a bowl of cereal, instead of waking up early to make myself a breakfast.
I know that I will have quicker results if I exercise. Further, I know I won't have the body I want, if I don't. But I hate it. And not the cardio, I can walk the mandatory 30 minutes without fail. But developing the muscle tone... it makes me angry. I hate lifting weights, I hate doing Pilates, all of it makes me so angry. I really, really hate crunches. Why?
Most of the time I feel so mad at myself, like "How did you ever let yourself go this badly? You're pathetic, you're disgusting. Just give up". This is my toxic inner mantra. And while I'm in the process of changing it, It screams at me violently inside my head when I try these things, until I give up. I wish I knew how to let it go, so I could just exercise without the loathing hate fiend crawling on my back. The thought of pushing through it till it stops... I'm not sure that will ever happen. I'm not sure I will ever feel good enough to myself.
Slow and steady, I suppose.
I have found that I used to use food as a primary means of pleasure, and I have a hard time enjoying myself if I deny food. I have been very creative with recipes, and find that I can make many delicious things for myself, in the constrains of the diet. But I miss certain things. I miss brownies, and I miss cheeseburgers, and I really, really miss pizza. I miss being able to go into the kitchen and have a bowl of cereal, instead of waking up early to make myself a breakfast.
I know that I will have quicker results if I exercise. Further, I know I won't have the body I want, if I don't. But I hate it. And not the cardio, I can walk the mandatory 30 minutes without fail. But developing the muscle tone... it makes me angry. I hate lifting weights, I hate doing Pilates, all of it makes me so angry. I really, really hate crunches. Why?
Most of the time I feel so mad at myself, like "How did you ever let yourself go this badly? You're pathetic, you're disgusting. Just give up". This is my toxic inner mantra. And while I'm in the process of changing it, It screams at me violently inside my head when I try these things, until I give up. I wish I knew how to let it go, so I could just exercise without the loathing hate fiend crawling on my back. The thought of pushing through it till it stops... I'm not sure that will ever happen. I'm not sure I will ever feel good enough to myself.
Slow and steady, I suppose.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Election Day
Yes, yes, go vote. I have opinions, like everyone else, but Jesus H. Christ, if this doesn't put an end to the political vampires trying to suck the votes out of me, someone is going to be very, very sad.
Further, why do only elementary schools become polling places, and thus have no classes that day? As a parent, I would rather have my youngest kids be in school, and if any of the kids have to be out, I would rather have it be the ones old enough to handle themselves either in my home or in my car, without me, for the 15 mins - 2 hours it takes one to usually vote. I would also like my college to immediately become a polling center so that I can have no classes today.
I did actually vote early... it was the easiest way to stop the hope rising up in the welling eyes of all the political booth workers, warming up their sales pitch.
Crush their souls... crush them all.
Edit: Yes, I know Halo 4 came out last night. Never been a huge Halo fan, for some reason. I like the story, but something about the mechanics of the movement always threw me off and I've never been able to get a feel for that. That said, it looks amazing and I'm very sorry for those who had to miss the midnight release festivities.... like my boyfriend.
We'll get 'em next time, babe.
Have fun, and all hail the Chief!
Further, why do only elementary schools become polling places, and thus have no classes that day? As a parent, I would rather have my youngest kids be in school, and if any of the kids have to be out, I would rather have it be the ones old enough to handle themselves either in my home or in my car, without me, for the 15 mins - 2 hours it takes one to usually vote. I would also like my college to immediately become a polling center so that I can have no classes today.
I did actually vote early... it was the easiest way to stop the hope rising up in the welling eyes of all the political booth workers, warming up their sales pitch.
Crush their souls... crush them all.
Edit: Yes, I know Halo 4 came out last night. Never been a huge Halo fan, for some reason. I like the story, but something about the mechanics of the movement always threw me off and I've never been able to get a feel for that. That said, it looks amazing and I'm very sorry for those who had to miss the midnight release festivities.... like my boyfriend.
We'll get 'em next time, babe.
Have fun, and all hail the Chief!
Monday, November 5, 2012
Ten Pounds!
I lost my first 10 pounds today :) I've done a few diets, tried weight watchers, and never have I gotten down 10 pounds through my own efforts.
Weight watchers is awesome, don't get me wrong, but there is something about the Dukan diet, and the tangible due date of your desired weight that really helps to motivate.
To celebrate my first week of the diet, and the inital loss of 6 pounds, my mom took me to get my first gel nail polish. For those of you who have never tried it, do it! It's super long lasting, and it's beautiful... so shiny. And they dry so fast it's practically impossible to mess them up.
I got a color called Princesses Rule! and it is the most amazing, pale pink, ultra sparkly color, ever. I recommend owning it immediately.
Off to class with me! I just wanted to pop in, and share.
Weight watchers is awesome, don't get me wrong, but there is something about the Dukan diet, and the tangible due date of your desired weight that really helps to motivate.
To celebrate my first week of the diet, and the inital loss of 6 pounds, my mom took me to get my first gel nail polish. For those of you who have never tried it, do it! It's super long lasting, and it's beautiful... so shiny. And they dry so fast it's practically impossible to mess them up.
I got a color called Princesses Rule! and it is the most amazing, pale pink, ultra sparkly color, ever. I recommend owning it immediately.
Off to class with me! I just wanted to pop in, and share.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Tasty Vittles
I like to cook.
If I didn't like experimenting, I would not be able to handle this diet.... I would get very bored of the same chicken breast and steak and salads all the time.
Tonight I made Sweet Italian Lean Turkey Sausage (Links, but I cut them open) and gravy, with roasted peppers and mushrooms.
I am fantastic.
Gravy, you say? Horrible for you, you cry?
Oh nay nay.
Dukaners are familiar with the fact that cornstarch is better (at least per this diet) to use than flour. So some fat free milk, low sodium chicken broth, cold filtered water, all whisked with cornstarch, and presto! A fabulous gravy is about to be born. I do still cook in the fat from the turkey, while it's in the pan, just because it's already so damn lean anyways, I don't really care. Maybe not completely kosher, but who gives.
I know it's unfair to chicken breast to hate it. It has done nothing but be it's tastiest, plumpest, healthiest it can be. But chicken, it's not you; it's me. We just need a break. We'll see each other around... can we still be friends? Can I call you if I wanna hook up sometime?
That cool with you, chicken?
If I didn't like experimenting, I would not be able to handle this diet.... I would get very bored of the same chicken breast and steak and salads all the time.
Tonight I made Sweet Italian Lean Turkey Sausage (Links, but I cut them open) and gravy, with roasted peppers and mushrooms.
I am fantastic.
Gravy, you say? Horrible for you, you cry?
Oh nay nay.
Dukaners are familiar with the fact that cornstarch is better (at least per this diet) to use than flour. So some fat free milk, low sodium chicken broth, cold filtered water, all whisked with cornstarch, and presto! A fabulous gravy is about to be born. I do still cook in the fat from the turkey, while it's in the pan, just because it's already so damn lean anyways, I don't really care. Maybe not completely kosher, but who gives.
I know it's unfair to chicken breast to hate it. It has done nothing but be it's tastiest, plumpest, healthiest it can be. But chicken, it's not you; it's me. We just need a break. We'll see each other around... can we still be friends? Can I call you if I wanna hook up sometime?
That cool with you, chicken?
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